Growing Up Fast

Today's pace for the grandparent is mind-boggling. Surely, it would have been the same for my grandparents had they been around. When we hear "life-in-the-fast-lane" little mind is paid to it, but if most certainly belongs to the last two generations.

About 6 weeks ago my daughter and her three girls, 13, 11, 6, enjoyed an excellent meal in a white-table restaurant. The kids manner and behavior were par excellence. The big shocker was that the 11 year old was scheduled to go to California for 3 weeks on her own visiting cousins, nieces,  nephews, and friends with a sleep plans, et al, for the whole trip. My wife and I found this amazing and shocking. Only because we are in our late 70's.

Mother and daughter talked about this as if it were no big deal...but I must opine that their Dad needed some prodding to bring him into the fold. The eldest will certainly use this example when the time is right to her own end. The three weeks in the country's craziest city, Los Angeles, and an 11 rear old is socializing on her own. Supervised of course by other mom's and sisters. The trip went off without a hitch and at the blink of an eye she was home on starting her studies. All three of the girls are home schooled and advanced way beyond their years.

The gut take on this has to be that things are moving faster and faster. All three are developing naturally, just incomprehensibly fast. Lord help whomever they date and end up in a relationship with soon...finding a mate seems to be near to impossible IMO. Dad's got his hands full with the 13 year old already. Last time I heard there will be no unsupervised dating until they are 18. I swear you have never heard such bellowing from the 11 and 13 year old. Talk about losing your freedom! Dad's doing his best to slow down one part of the growing up too fast.
The end.

Running Out of Patience

Four years ago we agreed to take in our 17 year old grandson that had just lost his mother when she 40 years old. He was raised in a trailer park culture with little or no supervision or discipline. A typical scenario with a step-dad in the home was that mom would give him money to get out of her hair. That he was free to do whatever, whenever he desired has left with a 100% entitlement expectation as the key part of his personality.

 During the first year some excellent things were accomplished: He received his GED. He participated in St Joseph Catholic Church’s Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA), a nine month program and became a Catholic. He was received into the Catholic Faith completely of his own volition. When the leader of the program asked him to be an assistant table leader he declined. For the last few years he declines to go to Mass and seems to have no desire to go to church with any longer.

He has a part-time job 15 -17 hours weekly as a bus boy at a friend of ours restaurant. Looking for more work is not on his agenda despite our urging. He has accumulated a cadre of loser friends which occupy his every waking free moment. Mostly he gawks endlessly at the idiot box, and plays all sorts of with games on someone else’s expensive electronics. We charge him nothing to live in our fully furnished garage apartment, help himself to our food, wash and dry his clothes. Also he showers daily and avails himself of a razor, blades, shaving cream, etc., etc.

He will be 22 in November and my wife is afraid if we force him to leave that something bad will happen to him. As a typical male who raised and educated three children I don’t quite see it that way. I have encouraged getting in one of the services, if he can, because now even the US Military has standards. But, is content to spend every cent he earns for his own pleasure. Recently, he has been working at the restaurant 1-2 extra days a week.

What would do if you were me?

Charlie Courtois, Retired Entrepreneur