Four years ago we agreed to take in our 17 year old grandson
that had just lost his mother when she 40 years old. He was raised in a trailer
park culture with little or no supervision or discipline. A typical scenario
with a step-dad in the home was that mom would give him money to get out of her
hair. That he was free to do whatever, whenever he desired has left with a 100%
entitlement expectation as the key part of his personality.
During the first year
some excellent things were accomplished: He received his GED. He participated
in St Joseph Catholic Church’s Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA), a
nine month program and became a Catholic. He was received into the Catholic
Faith completely of his own volition. When the leader of the program asked him
to be an assistant table leader he declined. For the last few years he declines
to go to Mass and seems to have no desire to go to church with any longer.
He has a part-time job 15 -17 hours weekly as a bus boy at a
friend of ours restaurant. Looking for more work is not on his agenda despite
our urging. He has accumulated a cadre of loser friends which occupy his every
waking free moment. Mostly he gawks endlessly at the idiot box, and plays all
sorts of with games on someone else’s expensive electronics. We charge him
nothing to live in our fully furnished garage apartment, help himself to our
food, wash and dry his clothes. Also he showers daily and avails himself of a
razor, blades, shaving cream, etc., etc.
He will be 22 in November and my wife is afraid if we force
him to leave that something bad will happen to him. As a typical male who
raised and educated three children I don’t quite see it that way. I have
encouraged getting in one of the services, if he can, because now even the US
Military has standards. But, is content to spend every cent he earns for his
own pleasure. Recently, he has been working at the restaurant 1-2 extra days a
week.
What would do if you were me?
Charlie Courtois, Retired Entrepreneur
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